


The Molecular Structure of Falling in Love

by pythaglorious



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Child Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, coldflash - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:45:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5552879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pythaglorious/pseuds/pythaglorious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry Allen learns that chemistry is not just his favorite subject in school when he is paired up with his school’s best hockey player, and resident asshole, Leonard Snart for a lab and sparks fly. Coldflash High School AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, this chapter is kinda short (half the length of my usual chapters). i didn't want the first day back at school to be until chapter two. anyways, enjoy! comments & kudos always appreciated!
> 
> edit: i totally forgot to put this, but both child abuse and alcoholism are mentioned in this chapter, so be careful. it's not too graphic/in depth but i wanted to put a warning, just in case. don't want to upset anyone.

It is January sixth, and Barry Allen is not looking forward to school the next day. Sure, he loves science, he loves running, but is it worth dealing with dickheads like Nimbus or Snart? Probably not.

“Winter break is cruel, bro,” Cisco sighs from across the room, “they give you a taste of freedom, and just take it away.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Barry agrees.

“We should do something fun our last day of break,” a mischievous glint appears in Cisco’s eyes.

“Like what?” Barry chuckles, “you do still have those Essay questions to finish for AP Euro,” he teases.

“Yeah, that’s not quite what I had in mind,” his friend rolls his eyes, “why don’t we make something?”

Despite Cisco’s best intentions, Iris appears in Barry’s doorway, smiling.

“Dad is kicking you out for the day, Cisco. Barry has homework to finish too,” she says, taunting her adoptive brother, but somehow doing so sweetly. Cisco sighs and rises from Barry’s red bean bag chair, “That’s fair.” Cisco walks out the door and calls behind him, “Later, Barry! Bye, Iris!” Two goodbyes are sent his way from Barry’s room.

“I really don’t want school to start again,” Barry sighs.

“Me neither Barr. Finish your holiday homework and maybe we can convince Dad to let us go out tonight. We could go see the new Star Wars that Cisco won’t shut up about,” she smiles.

“Yeah,” Barry answers, as he pulls his backpack onto his bed and grabs a pen, “I’ll tell you when I finish this stuff.”

xxx

“Big brother,” Lisa calls from Leonard’s doorway, “Cisco invited me to see a movie with some of his friends. Wanna come?” She sing-songs hopefully. Leonard sighs. “I don’t hang out with Barry Allen and his… lackeys.” Lisa pouts. “Will you leave me alone if I say yes?” Her face brightens up. “Fine.”

It’s nearly dinner time, so Lisa and Len head to the kitchen to set the table. It’s not like their dad ever cooks, but if they don’t set the table for their "delicious" fast-food, Lewis Snart will blow his top. And give both his children several bruises. As always, Leonard grabs the silverware, and Lisa the plates. Their dad should be home with food any minute. Len’s stomach fills with anger at the thought. Two weeks of being home non-stop is enough to make Len feel a little more than hatred towards his father. He keeps reminding himself, _“School tomorrow. Hockey tomorrow. School tomorrow. Distractions. I’ll be away from him. Lisa will be away from him.”_ Leonard places four sets of forks and knives around the four place settings. Four incase his grandfather decides to join them. Him and Lisa always hope that he will. He is the only adult in their lives who gives a damn what happens to them after all. The front door clicks shut. “Dad’s home,” Lisa says quietly. Len nods.

“Hello, kids,” their father sets a bag of greasy food on the table. Dinner passes slowly. Their father is preoccupied with his beer, as always. By time Len and Lisa sneak out, he’ll be too drunk to notice that they’re gone.

Len pulls on a black hoodie and high-tops. Lisa throws on some lipstick. Len closes his bedroom door and they climb out the window. They sneak through the backyard (which is as neglected by Lewis Snart as his children are) and to Len’s motorcycle. He climbs on and Lisa slides on behind him. As they ride, the evening air rushing past Len’s face is comfortably chilly. The journey seems quick and they’re at the movie theatre in minutes.

A neon sign illuminates the night, reading _Central City Cinema._ People are really into alliteration. Lisa takes Len’s hand and leads him to a group of teenagers. Everyone seems to have a date besides him and Barry Allen. Lisa has Cisco. Caitlin has Ronnie. Iris has Eddie. All the couples are holding hands. Lovely. He glances at Barry. He sighs. This is going to be an awkward two hours. _“Whatever,”_ he tells himself, _“there are worse movies to watch than Star Wars.”_

Everyone in the group pays for their ticket and they enter the theatre’s lobby. Len buys a pack of Sno-Caps at the snack counter. Lisa and Cisco buy popcorn. Ironically, this is the best food either of them have had since the start of break. He follows Lisa and the group into the theatre. They head to the top row. Len laughs, they’ll take up at least half of it. He snags the corner seat. Allen sits next to him. Great.

Two hours later Len and his… acquaintances emerge from the theatre. “Why don’t we get IHop?” a voice suggests. Len shrugs. Why not. They walk through the obnoxiously colored lobby once more and into the parking lot. Lisa decides to ride with Cisco. Len’s on his own. Figures. IHop isn’t far, and despite Central City traffic, they all arrive in less than ten minutes.

They’re seated in a rather large booth. Barry is pushed next to him. Again. Len figures that’s what they get for being the only two there who are single. Leonard tries to ignore how Barry radiates warmth in a… rather pleasant way. And how his eyes are actually very pretty. Len makes his mind shut up. He doesn’t have time for this. Especially not with _Barry Allen_ of all people, resident science nerd, fastest runner on his school’s track team. Perfect Barry Allen and his perfect life doesn’t have room for someone like Leonard Snart. Leonard Snart’s fucked up life doesn’t have room for someone like Barry Allen.

Len orders french toast. He eats it without syrup.

“Damn,” Cisco grins, “fifth time around and that movie still. Does. Not. Disappoint!”

“Really?” Len drawls, “I thought it was rather… slow.”

Cisco looks at him in playful disbelief, “Oh, do not go there with me Snart.”

For the rest of dinner, Len almost feels like he has friends. Almost. Not that he needs them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dabbled with incorporating music in this one. not sure if it worked, feel free to give me feedback. the song len is listening to is jesus christ by brand new, btw. please tell me if anything seems OOC, im not super used to writing these characters yet. i know i just started this today but whatever, you're getting a second chapter anyway! comments & kudos always appreciated! <3
> 
> tw: child abuse, alcoholism.

The morning comes. Barry wakes to the blaring of his alarm clock. He shuts it off, swings his legs over the side of the bed, and makes his way to the bathroom. The tile is cool against his bare feet as he brushes his teeth and fixes his hair. He slips on a plaid button down shirt and jeans and ties his shoes as Joe appears in his doorway, “C’mon Barr, we’re running a little late.” Barry laughs under his breath. Despite being able to run a mile in under five minutes, being late is kind of his thing. His teachers don’t appreciate it.

He hops in the backseat of Joe’s car (Iris called shotgun) and they ride to school with the radio turned on high and Barry fiddles with a black retractable pen the whole time.

“Alright, we’re here,” Joe stops the car at the school’s East dropoff. Iris opens her door, as does Barry.

“Bye, Dad!”

“Bye, Joe!”

“Good luck, you two. See you at 3:15.”

With that the car rolls around the corner and out of sight, leaving Barry and Iris to face the first day of second semester. Barry arrives in first period Chemistry (out of breath) just as the bell rings. Dr. Wells, his teacher, looks amused by his near tardiness, where most of his other teachers would scold him. Apart from Joe, Wells is one of the closest things he’s had to a father since his dad was locked up for a crime he didn’t commit. Just thinking about that night makes Barry’s stomach turn, and he puts the thought out of his mind. He unzips his red Jansport backpack and places his black Chemistry binder on his desk, retractable pen in hand.

Wells’ back is to the class, and he is writing something in black ink on the otherwise spotless whiteboard. Students begin murmuring. The infamous Sophomore Chemistry Project begins.

Every year at Lakeview Academy, the Second Semester Sophomores are A. assigned lab partners, and B. given the daunting task of developing and carrying out an original experiment with some kind of practical use. And it’s worth two test grades. Dr. Wells begins handing out yellow sheets of paper with the grading rubric for the project on it, as well as the due date and some other information. Barry buzzes with excitement. As he reads over the slip of paper, he pulls out his planner. _Chem project due Feb. 3rd. Brainstorm. 5 ideas by tmrw. Partners assigned Weds._ The rest of this period, and class tomorrow will be focused on researching and coming up with ideas. When paired with someone, you will choose one of your ideas and begin working (under Dr. Wells’ close supervision, of course.) The rest of the class passes by in a flash, as Barry is working on and researching idea after idea. He looks up briefly just to see Leonard Snart watching his enthusiastic working with a smug grin. He looks back down at his paper and begins to scribble ideas more furiously.

The bell rings all too soon, and he stuffs his binder back into his bag and his pen into his pocket. “Bye, Dr. Wells!” he calls over his shoulder, and before he knows it, none other than Len Snart is walking beside him. “Enjoying this project, Barry?” he drawls. Barry rolls his eyes in annoyance. “Hello, Snart,” he says, his voice full of suspicion. “Allen, I thought we were pals after last nights little… get together,” Len smirks. Barry rolls his eyes once more, “Sure.” “Whatever. See you ‘round, Barry,” and with that, Leonard makes a right to head to the English wing, and Barry continues on towards his locker.

“Why was Snart talking to you?” Iris asks, catching up with Barry from behind.

“Who knows, Iris,” he answers with a shrug. Reaching his locker, Barry spins the dial on his lock a few times, _3-17-25_ , and grabs his green spiral bound History notebook, shoving his Chem binder into the locker rather haphazardly. Iris chuckles, “No need to be too neat and tidy, Barr.” Barry sticks his tongue out playfully, and they walk together to their AP Euro class, joined by Cisco halfway there.

By time lunch rolls around, Barry is starving (no surprise there,) so he grabs a PB&J and a salad. He sighs as he sits at his lunch table, across from Caitlin and Cisco.

“Have you guys had Chem today?” Barry asks excitedly. Both Caitlin and Cisco shake their heads, and Barry continues, “We’re starting the Project! We get partners on _Wednesday_!” Cisco smiles, and Iris laughs as she sits down between Barry and Eddie, “Science nerd.” Barry shrugs with a smile, “Guilty as charged.”

“Any project ideas, Barry?” Cisco asks, and Caitlin leans in to hear his answer over the hum of the other conversations in the massive cafeteria.

Barry’s eyes widen in excitement, “I was thinking of developing a more efficient way to produce clean energy,” Barry began, “I’ve actually had this idea for a while, but I’ve never really had the chance to develop it. What if you could use pollution to generate energy, lessening the concentration of the pollutants and producing cheap and efficient energy!”

Cisco nodded proudly, “Nice one, Barry. That’ll be cool.”

“You got any ideas?” Barry wondered.

“Nah, not yet, But I’ll come up with something. Especially if Wells is kind enough to pair me up with Caitlin.”

“I’m sure he will be, you two are his favorites by far. Plus you two have the luxury of being in the same period as each other. I just hope I don’t get paired with Snart,” Barry leans in, “he was eyeing me today in class, it was really weird. He’s kind of intimidating.”

Lisa slides in next to Cisco, “You’re just now noticing that Lenny’s intimidating? For the fastest kid in school, you’re a little slow on the uptake,” she smiles playfully. Barry chuckles and rolls his eyes at her.

The rest of the day goes by pretty quick, and by 3:15 he’s back in Joe’s car (this time Barry called shotgun), heading home. Track doesn’t start until next week, and Barry is thankful for that – it gives him a chance to really focus on the project for a little while.

“How was school?”

“It was pretty good,” Barry smiles at his almost-father, “we’re starting the big chem project. I’m excited.”

Iris laughs, “You don’t even know the half of it dad, he was practically _vibrating_ all day.”

Joe smiles, “Is that so, Mr. Allen?”

Barry sends a playful glare towards Iris, “I was not _vibrating._ ”

Iris laughs, “Were too. I thought you were going to explode or something.”

Barry sticks his tongue out at her sarcastically.

xxx

Leonard Snart doesn’t listen to music because he is in pain. Pain is for the weak. Leonard Snart Leonard Snart is not weak. Leonard Snart does not listen to music to get him through the pain. He listens to it to get him through the day.

His dad taught him pain was for the weak a long time ago. All the bruises left on his body were proof of those lessons. He always told his kids he was “doing it for their own good.” For a long time Leonard believed him. For a long time Leonard loved him. Now, the only thing Leonard loves is Lisa. His dad is just a drunk. An unimportant drunk who enjoys putting the two people he’s supposed to care most about through absolute hell.

So, when he gets hit in the face with a hockey puck during practice, he’s fine. It’s better than being hit in the face with his father’s fist. Or worse. His father’s bottle. When practice is over he puts in an earbud from the iPod that he stole from the locker room two months ago.

_Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face / The kind you'd find on someone I could save / If they don't put me away / Well, it'll be a miracle._

He starts walking home.

_Do you believe you're missin' out / That everything good is / happening somewhere else? / But with nobody in your bed / The night's hard to get through_

He steps in a puddle on the sidewalk.

The cold slips into his shoe. His socks will be damp for at least half an hour. He pulls up the hood of his blue parka.

_And I will die all alone / And when I arrive I won't know anyone_

He sighs.

_Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again / So what did you do those three days you were dead? / 'cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend._

Almost home. He’d rather be alone than home. The sky’s getting dark.

_Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die, / I'm a little bit scared of what comes after / Do I get the gold chariot? / Do I float through the ceiling?_

He rips out his headphone as he crosses the threshold into his dad’s rundown house.

His dad’s car isn’t in the driveway. He goes to Lisa’s room to check in on her.

“ _Daddy_ not home yet?” Len asks.

“No,” she answers, “what happened to your eye?”

She looks worried.

“It’s fine, Lise. Just from a hockey puck. Nothing I can’t handle,” he smiles. The grin doesn’t reach his eyes.

Lisa sighs, “Okay, Lenny. Love you. Do your homework.”

Leonard scoffs, “Since when do I do my homework?”

Lisa shrugs. “I know you have it. You have to _brainstorm Chemistry ideas._ At least five. Barry won’t shut up about it.”

She smiles fondly.

“Don’t talk about Allen around me.”

Lisa narrows her eyes, “Okay, Len… Whatever. Homework. Do it.”

Leonard rolls his eyes. He hears the front door slams shut.

“ _Damn it,_ ” he whispers under his breath.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, this chapter isn't too long. not much real plot is happening yet. the chapters should get longer as the story goes on. things will get exciting soon~ as always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and make my day!!
> 
> tw: child abuse; more so in this chapter than the first two. be careful <3

Wednesday morning rolls around, and Barry is ready to burst with excitement. Joe walks downstairs and glances at him, then down at the coffee mug in his hands. He smiles, “You sure you need that caffeine, Barr? You seem pretty alert without it.” Iris laughs from across the kitchen. Barry grins, “I like the taste.” Joe scoffs. Barry gathers his notes and stuffs them into his binder, which he then stuffs into his backpack. He swings the bag over his shoulder, and follows Joe and Iris out the door.

When they arrive at school, Barry nearly hops out of the car before it stops moving.

“Careful, Barr!” Joe laughs. Barry smiles back at him and Joe sends him and Iris off with wishes of good luck. For once, Barry is early to school. The next ten minutes could not pass fast enough. Barry meets up with Cisco and Caitlin near the lockers, and Iris wandered off somewhere, presumably to find Eddie.

Cisco chuckles, “Dude, how does it feel being early for the first time in your life?”

Caitlin smiles.

Barry widens his eyes in mock-offense, “I will have you know, I was early to a birthday party one time in the seventh grade.”

Cisco smiles, “Pics or it didn’t happen, mi amigo.”

“So, you ready to get assigned your partner?” Caitlin asks.

“I swear, Cait, that bell cannot ring soon enough.”

Caitlin laughs, and Lisa sneaks up behind Cisco and surprises him with a kiss on the cheek. Following behind her is her brother. He looks tired. After Barry spends a few minutes avoiding the gaze of the elder Snart, the bell marking first period finally sounds, and student begin to scatter about the hallways. Barry and Leonard happen to walk in the same direction, which is unsurprising since they _are_ going to the same place, afterall. What _is_ surprising, though, is the fact that Leonard doesn’t make a single smug comment or snide remark as he and Barry walk to class side by side. After about half a minute of walking, they enter Dr. Wells’ classroom, and take their seats on opposite sides of the room. Figures.

As soon as the second bell rings, Wells rises from his desk in the right hand corner of the classroom. “Alright class,” he begins, “today you will be given your pairs for the project we have begun this week. I have chosen your groups carefully. Do not question my decision,” he seems to look at Barry with that last bit. He begins to read off names. A girl named Patty Spivot is paired with Tony Woodward. That’s rough. Wells lists a few other names, Barry zones out until Barry hears his own. “Barry Allen and Leonard Snart.” Barry looks over at Snart who looks slightly annoyed, but not too unhappy with the pairing. Barry tosses his head back and sighs. This is exactly what he did _not_ want to happen. Explains why Dr. Wells looked directly at him as he said ‘Do not question my decision.’ Barry trusts Dr. Wells, but he doesn’t understand why he’d be paired with Snart. After Wells is finished calling out the pairs, Leonard makes his way over to Barry’s desk and sits next to him.

“So, it looks like we’ll be working together,” Leonard says reluctantly.

Barry sighs. Might as well make the best of the situation. “So, what were your ideas?” Barry asks Snart.

“Nothing of any value. It’d be fun to achieve absolute zero, but that’s probably impossible.”

Barry shakes his head, “Why are you so obsessed with the cold?”

Leonard’s expression hardens. “Maybe I’ll tell you another time.”

Barry could tell he had no intention of telling him at any other time.

“What are your ideas, kid?”

Barry doesn’t even think to question being called kid by someone of the same age, and begins, “Okay… so I was thinking and, what if you could use pollution to create clean energy, and do so efficiently? Like… using polluted water and making it clean while simultaneously using it to generate energy. It could help so many people, and if we could make it affordable…”

“You’re rambling, Allen, but that’s a good idea.”

Barry pulls out some diagrams of ideas for the project, and Snart laughs, “You did all this in a few days? Have you slept?”

Barry grins sheepishly, “Not really.”

Len sighs.

“Me neither.”

“So we should start working on the display for the project, as well as the design itself. If you want, I can take care of most of the science part, and you can deal with the display.”

Leonard shrugs, “Sure.”

Len helps Barry tweak some parts of his diagrams for the rest of class, and as the bell rings, he finds that he doesn’t mind working with Barry. He doesn’t mind at all. But he doesn’t like the kid, either.

xxx

The rest of Len’s school day seems to drag on eternally. At lunch he tells Lisa that Allen is his partner. She tells him he better be nice to Barry. Len doesn’t make any promises.

Hockey practice couldn’t come soon enough. Leonard fastens his skates and glides onto the ice, stick in hand. The arena is cold. It’s comforting. He feels safe. It makes him think of his grandfather. He puts those distractions out of his head as the drills begin. He knows what he’s doing. Everything comes so easy to him on the ice. He’s in his element. Len might have a house, but this ice rink is his home. Practice passes by too quickly. Locker room. Change. Music. Parka. Home. He checks on Lisa as always. He starts planning the display for him and Barry’s project. He’s always been good at planning. He gets that from his father.

“So,” Lisa sits beside him on his bedroom floor, “paired with _Barry Allen?_

“Yeah,” Leonard says roughly, “I already told you that.”

“I know, I just thought you didn’t hang around with ‘Barry Allen and his lackeys,’” she smiles.

Len shoots her a glare, “This isn’t exactly of my own free will. Wells assigned him to me.”

“Whatever,” Lisa replies, “what are you two doing for your project?”

“Something about using pollution to produce clean energy, I don’t really understand all the science behind it, but Allen’s got that handled.”

“Hm. Nice. I’ll leave you to it then, bookworm,” Lisa smirks as she rises from the floor and exits the room.”

Len hears a thud in the hallway. Dad’s drunk. He hears Lisa gasp. He rushes into the hallway as fast as his feet would carry him. He pulls Lisa out of the way of his father’s fist. “Get out of here, Lisa.”

His father smiles his terrifying smile.

“What was that, kid?”

“What did she do?”

He looks up at his father.

“I was just teaching you little sister a… lesson.”

“You’re lying.”

“I don’t lie,” his father raises his hand once more.

Len his buries his head in his arms as his father’s fist collides with his body.

xxx

Lewis Snart didn’t do too much damage to his son. It could have been worse. Leonard knows that.

It would have been worse if he let him touch Lisa. Leonard knows that. He takes refuge in his bedroom. Lisa takes refuge in hers. They both lock their doors. Their father is called for duty. They hear him swear. The front door creaks closed. They both come out of their rooms once they’re sure he’s gone.

“Lenny, why did you do that?”

Leonard rubs where his father hit him.

“Didn’t wanna see you get hurt. He’s harsher on you. We both know that.”

Lisa sighs, “Yeah.”

Len swings his arm over Lisa’s shoulders, “He’ll get arrested soon enough. He’s a law-breaking cop. Surrounded by countless non-law-breaking cops. They’ll get him. We’ll move in with grandpa. It’ll be okay.”

“How do you know, Len?”

“I just do.”

He lies. He doesn’t know. In fact, he doubts that’ll ever happen. But Lisa deserves hope. She needs hope. Leonard does too, he just doesn’t know it.

“You’re not invincible, Leonard. You have to stop taking the blow for me.

“Not gonna happen, little sister.”

Lisa scoffs. Len pulls her closer. They’re okay. For now, they’re okay.

xxx

Barry misses running. The thrill of it. The wind in his hair, the chill when he slices through the air, feeling like he’s unstoppable. He hasn’t truly run since before winter break. Despite the work that needs to be done on his Chem Project, he wants track to start back up again. He _needs_ track to start back up again.

As soon as he finishes his homework, he pulls out his laptop and sits on his bed to watch the latest episode of Doctor Who. He still can’t tell how he feels about Peter Capaldi. He still hates Steven Moffat. After he finishes the episode (the Doctor prevails, obviously,) he reaches across the sheets for his phone.

 

To Cisco: Dude did you see the new ep. of Doctor Who?

 

From Cisco: omg yes dude it was sick

 

From Cisco: also are you ever gonna stop using capital letters smh

 

From Cisco: they make me nervous

 

To Cisco: Deal With It.

 

From Cisco: hah hah. whatever.

 

 

To Cisco: So, who did Wells pair you up with?

 

From Cisco: caitlin! B)

 

To Cisco: Nerd. Lucky.

 

To Cisco: I got Snart.

 

To Cisco: He’s being very civil. I think he might not hate me.

 

From Cisco: doesnt hate you???? you two are really hitting it off aren’t you. so proud. when’s the wedding?

 

To Cisco: Ha ha. Very funny.

 

To Cisco: It’s late. I’m going to bed.

 

From Cisco: loser. sleep is for the weak. gn.

 

To Cisco: Night.

 

Barry plugs his phone into the charger on his nightstand and pulls the covers up past his shoulders. He sighs. Sleep doesn’t come easy. Barry’s used to it by now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i just had to add some barry angst there at the end. just a tiny bit. i had to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the word count for this chapter is kinda low (AGAIN) bc it's reeeaaalllyyyy dialoguey, and also more light hearted (aka lest angsty) than the first three chapters. but important stuff does begin to happen. i have the next few chapters planned out, things are definitely gonna start speeding up soon (as in like, tomorrow's update soon.) comments & kudos are hella appreciated & keep me motivated to write, feel free to leave them. they also make me super happy.
> 
> tell me if there's anything that doesnt make sense/any typos, it's like 3:30 AM and i've only proofread once.
> 
> thanks, hope you enjoy <3

“Dude, I hate AP Euro.”

Barry, Cisco, and Iris have a test tomorrow in history. None of them are excited about taking it. Or about them all being sprawled on Barry’s bedroom floor on a Sunday at 11:00 PM, books stacked around them.

Barry smiles weakly at Cisco, “We all do.”

“I can vouch for that,” Iris chimes in.

“I’m sorry, my issue is that I literally just dont give a _shit_ about romanticism, marxism, _or_ conservatism. Or any of the -isms! I so should have dropped this class.”

“Everyone should have dropped this class,” Barry chuckles.

“Back to work boys,” Iris reminds them, looking over her flash cards once more.

Cisco opens his textbook once more, and begins to highlight nearly every word.

“You’re only supposed to highlight the _important_ stuff, Cisco,” Barry reminds him.

“That’s my issue, bro! It’s all important!”

Barry sighs. It’s gonna be a long night.

“I should text my mom that I’m not gonna be home tonight,” Cisco tosses back his head, “ _I hate this class_ ”

In the end, the three end up falling asleep on Barry’s floor around 3:00 AM.

Barry and Iris wake up to the alarm clock the next morning, but Cisco manages to sleep right through it. It takes five minutes and a spray bottle to wake him up. Within fifteen minutes, all three are out the door and in Joe’s car, on their way to a long day of school. None of the three speak a word to Joe on the way to school, too engrossed in their pages upon pages of notes.

Barry makes his way to first period and sits in his usual seat. Len pulls out the chair next to him.

“Morning Allen. You look like hell.”

“Thanks, Snart.”

“Up late?”

“AP Euro.”

“Tough Break.”

As the second bell rings, Dr. Wells turns to face his students.

“I have exciting news,” he begins. Barry hears Len scoff under his breath. “This year, Lakewood Academy has the opportunity to take three projects to the Western Missouri Regional Science Fair. The three best projects from our assignment will be chosen to go to this science fair. The two highest ranked in our school will move on to the State Science Fair, our highest ranked from State onto the National Science Fair. If you are chosen for Regional, but your project does not make it onto State, you will still be able to attend the Science Fair as a supporter, the same goes for National. Make sense?”

The class nods.

“Alright then, get to work,” the doctor says, retreating to his desk.

Barry’s heart begins to race. _He_ could go to The National Science Fair? He’s always dreamed of it. If he goes to National and does well, he could get a scholarship and go to a really great school, if he goes to a great school he could have the scientific background he needs to prove his dad’s innocence…

Len looks at his lab partner, “What’s going on in your head, kid?”

Barry looks up, “Why do you keep calling me kid?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“And you didn’t answer mine.”

“Smartass.”

“ _Snart_ ass.”

“Fuck you. Let’s get to work.”

xxx

Barry’s second period History test could have been worse. All in all, he’s just glad it’s over. After school, instead of going home at 3:15, track practice starts up again. Finally. Along with being his Chemistry teacher, Dr. Wells is also his track coach, and is waiting for his team on the at 3:30 track when they all emerge wearing their practice clothes.

“Okay, let’s start with a quick warm up and then do some sprints so we can get back into the swing of things,” Wells tells his runners.

Barry is the fastest, as always.

An hour and a half later, Barry begins to make his way back to the locker room, out of breath.

“Bye, doc!” he calls over his shoulder.

He doesn’t expect to see Leonard Snart when he arrives at the locker room.

Shirtless.

He’s the first runner to enter the room, and Snart seems to be the last hockey player to exit.

He tries to enter quietly.

He doesn’t.

Snart turns around, pulling on a grey t-shirt.

“Hey, Allen,” he says.

“Hey, Leonard.”

“Call me Len.”

“Why?”

Snart smiles, “Do you want me to start calling you _Bartholomew?_

Barry cringes, “Point taken. I’ll stick with Snart.”

“I’ll stick with Allen.”

Barry laughs, “I’m fine with anything, as long as it is _not_ Bartholomew.

Snart pulls on his parka.

When Barry laughs, Len realizes that it’s a pretty good sound. He likes it. It’s the sound of happiness. And he _made_ Allen laugh. It feels good.

“Oh, and, Snart – I was thinking, and, since I really wanna make it to regionals, maybe we should work on the project some outside of school, like you could come to my house, or I could come to yours, so we could maximize all the time we have before the due date and – ”

“Rambling again, Allen,” Leonard cuts him off, “ Sure. Your place. _Not_ mine.”

Barry shrugs, “Okay. Saturday at noon?”

“That works. See ya ‘round, kid.”

Len walks home alone. His dad doesn’t come home that night.

xxx

When Barry arrives home from practice, he pulls out his laptop and logs into Skype to check the group chat.

 

[GROUP  NAME: SCIENCE NERDS]

 

speedyscarlet

_Sorry I wasn’t at lunch. I took a nap in the library._

 

criscoramen

_smart man. i shouldve thought of that._

 

speedyscarlet

_Okay though, Wells’ announcement in Chem today._

 

criscoramen

_yessss omg you know we’re all makin it to regional bro_

 

thesnowball

_Guys, I’m so excited!!!_

 

pizzaguy97

_it is gonna be so sick._

 

thesnowball

_By the way, how was the AP Euro test?_

 

speedyscarelt

_It was alirght_

 

criscoramen

_wasn’t as bad as that damn renaissance test was._

 

thesnowball

_I am SO not regretting taking APUSH this year._

 

pizzaguy97

_cait, im sure we’ll hear all about how you wish you were in ap euro when the next apush test comes around_

 

thesnowball

_Hmph. You can’t see it, but I’m totally pouting rn._

 

criscoramen

_ugh just make out already_

 

pizzaguy97

_if you can develop a way for us to do that through a screen, hmu ramon._

 

Barry laughs. His friends are such dorks. He hears Iris step into his doorway and looks up from his screen.

 

“Dinner’s ready,” she tells him.

 

“I’ll be down in a sec.”

 

speedyscarlet

_Gotta go to dinner, guys. Ttyl._

 

With that, Barry closes his laptop, sets it on his bed, and makes his way downstairs for dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so, again, im updating at like 3:00 AM. forgive any typos, please correct them in the comments! thanks for all the support. comments & kudos are 100% encouraged as they keep me working fast <3
> 
> in all seriousness, i'm excited for you guys to see this chapter, so please leave some feedback! writing it was a lot of fun.
> 
> tw for mentions of child abuse
> 
> love you guys.

As Saturday approaches, Len realizes that he’s almost… nervous to be alone with Barry. He doesn’t understand why, it’s not like they’re even doing anything fun, they’re just working on the damn chem project. On Friday right after school, he sees his lab partner in the locker room.

“Hey, Snart,” Barry begins.

Len looks up from pulling hockey clothes out of his duffel bag, “Hey, Allen. What’s up?”

“Well,” the runner pulls out a slip of paper from the pocket in his jeans, “you’re coming over on Saturday – uh, tomorrow I mean, and I figured it would help if you had my number, so I can text you my address and you can tell me when you’re on your way and stuff.”

Len takes the slip of paper from Barry’s outstretched hand, “Yeah. Thanks. I’ll text you after practice so you’ll have my number too.”

Barry smiles, “Sounds good. Bye, Snart,” Barry walks away.

Len likes his smile.

He tells his mind to shut up.

For once, he’s happy when hockey is over.

As he finishes stuffing his practice clothes back into his blue duffle bag, he sees Barry walking into the locker room (again), followed by a senior that Len recognizes as Jay Garrick. Second fastest in the school.

“Hey, Snart,” Barry waves

Len nods in Barry’s direction, shooting him an almost-smile.

Barry walks over to Len, lowering his voice

“I noticed you were walking home alone yesterday. Wanna ride? I’m sure Joe wouldn’t mind, and it’d be quicker.”

Len’s expression hardens.

“No thanks, kid.”

Barry shrugs, “You sure?”

“Positive,” Len says, grabbing his duffel bag and leaving the locker room as the rest of the track guys walk in.

On his way home, he pulls out his phone while Blink-182 is blaring in his left ear.

To Barry: Hey. It’s Len. This is my number.

From Barry: Oh, hi!

From Barry: You ok? You seemed gloomy in the locker rooms.

To Barry: I’m always gloomy, haven’t you noticed?

From Barry: Why?

To Barry: I have my reasons.

From Barry: Which are…?

Len laughs. No way he’s spilling his life story to a guy he just started talking to last week.

To Barry: Not your business.

From Barry: Whatever. You’ll tell me sooner or later.

To Barry: Yeah right, kid.

Len shuts off his phone and turns the doorknob, opening the front door to his house. His dad is sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hey, _Pops_ ,” he says, walking through the living area and into his room.

He locks his bedroom door behind him and pulls out his project plans.

He can’t remember the last time he worked this hard for anything having to do with school. He spent some time over the weekend at the library typing up the information that’s required for the display, as well as making photocopies of Barry’s blueprints. He’s got them all in a folder, ready to go for the morning.

He realises he doesn’t want to wait until 12:00 PM the next day to see Barry.

He waits anyway.

xxx

Barry spends most of the night looking over his diagrams and blueprints, making sure everything checks out, and that he has all the necessary parts to build the project. He stopped by a few stores with Joe before coming home, and he’s triple-checked all the diagrams and parts that they bought. He’s positive he’s got everything.

He sighs and thinks about the conversation he had with Len via text.

He’s determined to get the guy to open up to him. Somehow. Barry can tell he needs it.

xxx

Group Title: Science Nerds

speedyscarlet: How are your projects coming along??

criscoramen: ours is goin so gr8

criscoramen: it’s gonna be _siiiiiiick_

thesnowball: Don’t brag, Cisco.

pizzaguy97: yeah cisco, how rude

criscoramen: smfh

speedyscarlet: So, Len’s coming over tomorrow to work on the project

speedyscarlet: Shit

speedyscarlet: I mean Snart

criscoramen: lennn? ;)

speedyscarlet: Fuck you!!

criscoramen: jumped straight from last name basis to nickname basis, I see

criscoramen: someone’s in love~

speedyscarlet: Fuck you x2

pizzaguy97: $20 that they make out before the projects due

criscoramen: $20 they’ll be _married_ before the projects due

speedyscarlet: Take your bets to pm, I’m OUT

thesnowball: Hahaha guys omg. Bye Barry, we love you <333

speedyscarlet: Lol sure

pizzaguy97: ummm cait, im like RIGHT here

speedyscarlet: Losers. Bye, guys.

speedyscarlet: now offline

Barry shuts his laptop and sits in silence for a couple minutes, examining the burgundy wall opposite him. There is totally, like, _no_ way he feels like that about Len. Except for the fact that his percing blue eyes to tend to make Barry ramble a little more than usual. And how he never smiles, but his smirk also tends to make Barry feels like he’s missed a step on the stairs. And how he wants to _know_ Len. Truly know him. To know his secrets, his mind, his favorite color, his favorite song. He wants to know all of him. And it’s only been a week since he stopped despising the guy. _Damn it._

Barry walks down the stairs; the wood is slippery under his fuzzy socks. He goes into the kitchen to make popcorn. Definitely with extra butter. So much butter. He unwraps the plastic from the paper bag of popcorn and sticks it in the microwave. As he hears the kernels popping, he pulls out a big clear bowl and a little blue ceramic bowl. Slicing off a sliver of butter for the little bowl, he thinks about the last week of his life. It feels like so much has changed. He supposes a new person coming into your life, who basically wasn’t there before, can do that to a guy. He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as he opens the microwave and tears open the bag. After he melts his butter and finishes fixing his popcorn, he sneaks the food back up to his room. Sure, he’s not _technically_ allowed to have food up here, but he figures there’s gotta be an exception for when you realize you’re not-so-slowly falling for a guy who you didn’t even like a week ago. And who is probably straight. Definitely an exception for that.

When he curls back up in his bed, begins to shovel his popcorn into his mouth. No one’s around, so it’s not like he’s gotta eat _politely_. That is, until he looks up and sees Iris halfway across the threshold.

“You know Dad can, like, totally smell that, right?”

“I don’t care,” Barry answers through a mouthful of popcorn.

Iris plops down on his bed beside him, “Well at least share.”

Barry smiles, “Fine.”

xxx

Len awakes the next day at 11:00 AM, and immediately starts getting ready to work on the project. He walks down the hallway to the bathroom, turns the water on cool. He locks the door behind him. Stripping off his pajamas, he steps into the water and lets it wash over him. As the rush of cool runs over his skin, he can feel himself becoming more alert, more awake.. That’s one of his favoirte things about the cold. Hot is stifling, cold is – energizing. It makes him feel strong. In control. He doesn’t get to feel in control of anything, usually. Not while his father is, around him, anyway.

After finishing his shower, he grabs his towel and dries off, slipping into clean clothes. He walks back to his room to grab his high tops and parka. Pulling the coat on over his grey t-shirt, he grabs his keys and backpack, and walks out the door. He pulls out his phone. 11:45 AM.

To Barry: On my way.

He swings one leg over the seat of his motorcycle and hits the gas. It only takes seven minutes to get to Barry’s, despite never having gone there before. He parks the motorcycle down the street to make a good impression with Barry’s family. A moody sophomore jock with a motorcycle would be… at least kinda sketchy. After walking up to Barry’s front door, he rings the doorbell and waits.

“Hey,” a man who looks nothing like Barry answers the door.

“Hello, uh, is Barry here?”

The man smiles, “Sure is,” he sticks his hand out, “Joe West.”

Len shakes it, “Leonard Snart.”

The man yells over his shoulder, “Barr, you’re friend’s here!”

He hears rapid footsteps on the stairs immediately.

Joe called him a _friend._

Len likes that.

He does not like, however, that he finds himself getting far too attached, far too soon.

 _Get a grip,_ he tells himself.

Len steps inside, “Slow down there, scarlet, you’re not running a marathon.”

Barry grins, “Scarlet?”

“Have you not noticed your obsession with red?”

Barry chuckles, beckoning for Len to follow him upstairs“ _I_ have. I didn’t know you’d pick up on it.”

“It’s hard to miss, kid.”

Len follows Barry into his room. Red walls. Figures.

Barry closes the door behind him.

Len pulls out his folder from his backpack, “So, I have everything printed out for the display, I just wanted you to check over it, to make sure all the science parts are right.” Planning truly is Len’s strongsuit. Barry nods, “Sure thing, Len.” Leonard holds back a smile at the use of the affectionate nickname. He hands the papers to Barry, who puts them on his bedside table.

“So, wanna start putting this thing together?”

“Sure thing.”

“Let’s work on the upper part first. So, this is the part that uses photocatalysis to purify the water and generate hydrogen.”

“English, Scarlet. How do we make this thing?”

Barry laughs and begins to explain. They put the next few hours into building, testing, and reworking the upper unit until it works perfectly. Len notices that Barry’s honestly… kinda hot when he’s absorbed his work.

After they finish, Barry smiles.

Len still likes his damn smile.

“It works!” Barry looks like he’s nearly ready to jump up and down.

“Cool it, kid,” Len says cooly through a half grin, “you did good.”

“ _We_ did good.”

Len scoffs.

By time they finish looking over and revising the display material, it’s about 5:00.

Leonard moves closer to Barry while he’s editing Len’s google doc to look over his shoulder and see the changes.

Barry looks over at Len, presumably to tell him something.

Their heads are closer than either of them expect.

Len feels Barry’s breath on his face.

It smells like mint.

His eyes are bright and green and as wide as a toddler’s on Christmas morning. They’re looking right at Len’s lips.

Len leans in.

Barry does too.

There is a knock on Barry’s door.

He hears Barry curse under his breath.

“Come in!” he calls, after a short moment.

Joe cracks the door and peeks his head inside the room, “Dinner in ten. Your friend can stay too, if it’s okay with his parents. There’s plenty of extra burgers.”

“Okay, thanks, Joe,” Barry smiles.

The door closes.

There’s a few seconds of silence.

“Wanna stay?” Barry asks.

Len sighs.

Better to have an awkward dinner with a cute guy’s family than get beaten up by your dad.

“Sure thing, Scarlet.”

Dinner proves to be very good, and afterwards, Len heads up to Barry’s room to grab his parka and his bag.

“Bye, Len.”

Leonard smiles.

“Bye, Barry,” he says before opening the bedroom door and closing it lightly behind him.

 _Things are going to get complicated,_ he thinks to himself, walking down the street to his motorcycle.

He lets out a shaky breath into the cool January air.

Barry Allen is worth complicated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahaha have fun with this one omg. i loved writing it. THANK YOU for all the nice comments on the last chapter, i literally started jumping up and down @ a few of them (":
> 
> tw: minor mention of alcoholism, some child abuse
> 
> feel free to leave comments & kudos <3
> 
> edit: at the end of the chapter, there's a season two spoiler. tread carefully if you aren't past 2x2.

It’s been three weeks since Len and Barry’s almost-kiss, and neither of them have said a word about it to the other. The project is due in two days, and Len is coming over around 2:00 so they can finish working on the display. Barry needs to tweak a couple things on the purification system before Len comes over. After he perfects it, Barry’s stomach is knotted with nerves, both about seeing Len and the project being due come monday. He pulls out his phone. It’s only 12:30. Barry decides to text Cisco to distract himself.

 

To Cisco: Hey dude

 

From Cisco: hey bruh!

 

From Cisco: almost done with the project?

 

To Cisco: Yep, just finishing up the display in a few hours with Len

 

From Cisco: ;)

 

To Cisco: I told you it’s not like that!!

 

From Cisco: lmao yeah right

 

From Cisco: have u SEEN the way you look at the guy

 

From Cisco: you have a crushhh~

 

To Cisco: Shut up smh

 

Barry shuts off his phone and sits on the edge of his bed. Cisco is doing a pretty shit job at distracting him.  _ What if Len doesn’t feel like same way about you,  _ a little voice in his head keeps nagging him. He’s worried the voice is right. Although, Len did try to kiss him. And Barry tried to kiss back.  _ But _ , he reminds himself, _ that was nearly a month ago. _ A lot can change in a month. He takes a deep breath.

He wishes the clock would move faster so Len could just  _ show up,  _ or that time travel was possible so he could simply skip the next hour and a half. He ends up watching Netflix until he hears the doorbell.

 

Barry rushes downstairs to get the door, and smiles when he opens it and sees Len on the other side, lugging a three panel foam core board, along with his backpack. Barry takes the poster board from Leonard to lighten his load.

 

“Hey, Len.”

 

He steps through the threshold, “Hey, Scarlet.” Sometimes Barry thinks that Len only uses that nickname on him because it makes Barry’s cheeks  _ turn _ scarlet “Let’s uh – go upstairs,” Barry suggests awkwardly. Len nods and Barry leads the way.

 

When they arrive upstairs, Barry grabs out a glue stick and sets the poster board flat on the floor, “Let’s do this.” Len and Barry begin to glue the pieces text for the display onto blue construction paper and cut around it so they’ll have a nice border. That was Len’s idea, and it makes the board look significantly nicer once all the information and pictures is had typed up are laid on it. The title across the top reads H 2 Go: Creating Sustainable Energy while Purifying Polluted Water. Within an hour, they finish the display and test the project one last time. Works perfectly. Barry feels like he’s on top of the world.

 

“We did it,” he smiles.

 

Len smiles back, “Yeah, we did. We did good.”

 

Barry pulls Len into a hug. Len hugs back. Barry’s heart feels like it’s going a million miles an hour. When he pulls away, he clears his throat. “Wanna watch a movie or something? I know you don’t have to go home until after dinner, so…”

 

Len nods, “Sure.”

 

They both sit on Barry’s bed as he pulls out his laptop. “What do you wanna watch?”

 

“How about Captain America?”

 

Barry smiles, “Good choice.”

 

Barry pulls up Amazon and finds _ Captain America: The First Avenger _ in instant video.

 

He presses play and moves closer to Len. At some point they begin to hold hands. Once again, Barry feels the sensation of falling, but in the best way. It seems butterflies really like to live in his stomach. He hopes that Len can’t hear his heartbeat.

 

About half way through Barry sighs, “I wish I was a superhero.” Len laughs, “Oh yeah? Not sure you’d like all the tight suits..” Barry laughs, “It sounds like you have first hand experience. Are you keeping something from me?” Len smiles, “Barry Allen’s science partner by day, superhero by night?” Barry shrugs, “Could be.” Len chuckles, “Nah, Scarlet. I could never really picture myself as a hero.” Barry looks at him, suddenly much more serious, “I can.”

 

Barry immediately realizes that looking at Len was a mistake. He sees Len’s damn blue eyes, that seem to be piercing right through him, knowing exactly what is going through his head.  _ Fuck it. _

 

Barry leans in. Not slow like last time, he doesn’t give Len a chance to react to his sudden closeness as their lips meet and suddenly nothing else matters in the world but Len, Len’s lips on his, Len’s fingers through his golden-brown locks. Finally, Len is his. Len is his and Barry will never let him go. The butterflies in his stomach seem to multiply, and Barry can’t think of anything else besides his science partner – no, his friend, or now perhaps even more than that. Barry parts his lips, deepening the kiss, until Len is on top of him, demanding,  _ longing,  _ as if he’s been waiting for this his whole life. As Len begins to pull away for air, Barry gently nibbles at the blue eyed boy’s bottom lip, protesting the space between them. Captain America is still playing. Neither of them care.

 

When Barry finally pulls away, once and for all, Len looks terrified, blue eyes wider than Barry’s ever seen them. He’s never seen Len look scared. Barry doesn’t like it and his stomach drops to the floor. “Fuck, Len, what’s wrong?”

 

Len gets off Barry’s bed suddenly, “Tell Joe I can’t stay for dinner, I’ve gotta go, I’m sorry.” Before Barry even has a chance to respond, Len is out the door.

 

xxx

 

When Len gets home, he locks himself in his room and tries not to think about how good Barry’s lips felt on top of his, how  _ right _ they felt together. How he truly cares for Scarlet, how he misses Barry not ten minutes after he’d last seen him. He feels a vibration in his pocket.

 

From Barry: Left your backpack.

 

_ Fuck.  _ He can’t go back there now. Not after running out like that.  He curses himself for being so impulsive, for being such a coward. He curses himself for being weak enough to let Barry into his heart. He curses himself for the hurt he can feel practically radiating from Barry’s text message.

 

After being home for two hours, not having said a word to Lisa, he hears a gentle knock on his door.

 

“Not now, Lisa,” he says cooly.

 

“Leonard Snart, let me in  _ right now.  _ Or do you want me to pick the lock?”

 

He sighs. There’s no avoiding her when she gets like this. He opens his door.

 

“Hey, Sis.”

 

“Tell me what’s wrong with you,” she says closing the door behind her, turning the lock.

 

“Well, lets see,” Leonard begins sarcastically, “I have an abusive drunk for a father, no  _ idea _ where my mother is, and now I care about  _ two  _ people instead of  _ one.  _ And I probably just broke one of their hearts.”

 

_ Fuck,  _ Len thinks,  _ I just broke Barry’s heart. _

 

Lisa sighs, “It’s Barry, isn’t it?”

 

“How did you know,” Len eyes her suspiciously.

 

“He’s the only person that you smile around besides me. Plus I’m your sister. I know these things.”

 

Fair enough.

 

“I’m scared, Lisa.”

 

There’s a loud knocking on his door.

 

“Get in my closet, Lisa,” Len whispers, in a panic, “I’ll tell him you’re at a friends.”

 

As soon as Lisa’s hidden, Len walks across the room.

 

He opens the door.

 

xxx

 

After Len leaves, all Barry feels is disappointment. Hollow disappointment. He was right. Len definitely does  _ not  _ like him. At all. But that doesn’t explain why he  _ did  _ kiss back for so long. People are way too complicated. He pulls out his phone.

 

To Caitlin: Cisco owes Ronnie 20 bucks

 

From Caitlin: What, why?

 

To Caitlin: Len and I kissed

 

From Caitlin: !!!!!

 

From Caitlin : Wait.

 

From Caitlin: Why do you seem so like.

 

From Caitlin: Disappointed?

 

To Caitlin: He kind of ran away after kissing me back.

 

To Caitlin: I need to talk to someone about this but Cisco and Ronnie have already been bugging me about this and I feel awkward about bringing it up with Iris.

 

To Caitlin: Plus, I trust you not to tell them.

 

From Caitlin: Oh, Barry )-:

 

From Caitlin: If it counts for anything, I’m almost positive he likes you back

 

To Caitlin: Then why did he run away?

 

From Caitlin: Maybe he was scared. He doesn’t exactly let a lot of people in.

 

To Caitlin: Yeah, I guess you’re right

 

From Caitlin: Talk to him. Fix this.

 

Barry puts his phone down. Joe calls him and Iris down for dinner, but he’s not hungry.

 

“Barry,” Iris steps into his room after five minutes of him not being downstairs for dinner, “What’s up?”

 

Barry sighs. He  _ should  _ tell Iris, but he really doesn’t want to talk about it anymore than he already has. Plus, she’s practically his sister. He’s already told Caitlin, and that was hard enough to do over text. Iris deserves to know, Barry’s closer with her than he is with anybody. “You can tell me,” Iris assures him, sensing his inner-turmoil. “Len and I kissed,” Barry says miserably, “and then he ran away.” Iris sighs, “That’s tough, Barry, it is. But you two have gotten so close lately. You’ve gotta work it out, he does care about you. I can tell.”

 

Why does everyone keep saying that?

 

“Come on, Barr, come down to dinner.”

 

“I’m not hungry.”

 

“You need to eat. I will drag you out of this bedroom if I have to.”

 

She does have to. And she keeps that promise.

 

Dinner feels painstakingly slow, and when Barry gets back to his room, he decides to text Len

 

To Len: I’m sorry.

 

He waits for Len to respond. He never does. Barry finishes watching the rest of Captain America alone.

 

xxx

 

The next morning, Barry wakes to the bitter yet warming aroma of coffee filling the house. He walks downstairs the to find Joe sitting alone at the kitchen table, mug in hand. He doesn’t look like he’s slept.

 

“Iris still in bed?” Barry asks. Joe nods. “Are you okay…” Barry eyes him quizzically. Joe takes a deep breath, “Iris’ mom is back.”

 

What? Barry thought Iris’ mom was dead… That’s what Joe has always told them, anyway. It’s not like Joe to lie unless he has good reason to.

 

“What do you mean, Joe… I thought she was dead?”

 

Joe takes a sip of coffee, “I know. I lied to you. To Iris. To… everyone. I lied to everyone. She was an addict. She left. I didn’t want Iris to feel like she wasn’t good enough for her mother, to grow up feeling abandoned. And now she wants back into Iris’ life.” Joe drags his hand across his face and rubs his eyes. “Have you slept, Joe?” His surrogate father shakes his head. “You need sleep.” Joe laughs, “I’m supposed to parent you, Barr, not the other way around.” They sit in silence for a moment. “Are you gonna tell her?” Joe sighs, “I have to. She’s old enough to decide whether or not she wants her mother in her life, I’m just afraid that… I’m afraid that in giving Iris Francine, I’ll lose her, or that she’ll never forgive me for… lying to her – for lying to her all these years.”

  
Barry sees true fear in Joe’s eyes. It reminds him of the fear he saw in a certain set of eyes last night. His stomach twists inside of him. “You’re not gonna lose Iris, Joe. She loves you more than anyone else. She’ll forgive you. You just gotta tell her.” Joe thinks for a moment. “You’re right, Barr. Thanks.” Barry feigns a smile. He knows everything is about to change.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new years eve!!! here's an (angsty) present for you guys <3 stay safe tonight! feel free to leave comments & kudos if you enjoyed it.
> 
> tw: child abuse, substance abuse mention (drugs & alcohol), past murder/violence/parental death mention. have fun.
> 
> again, spoiler alert if you aren't past 2x2

On Monday morning, Len doesn’t show up to Dr. Wells’ class, much to Barry’s distress. The runner can barely keep up with all the thoughts racing through his head, “ _Is he really so keen on avoiding me that he would skip class? On the day our project is due? Does he really hate me that much?”_ The class passes by far too slow for Barry’s liking, despite being his favorite. After the bell marking the end of first period ends, Barry discreetly pulls out his phone.

 

To Len: Your backpack is outside Wells’ room. The project is turned in.

 

Pocketing his phone once more, Barry notices Len’s backpack is gone. He feels his stomach twist painfully as he walks to History. “ _So Len really is avoiding me,_ ” he tells himself.

 

At lunch, he takes a seat next to Lisa,“Why is Len avoiding me?” She sighs, and Barry sees a pained look in her eyes. “I’m sorry Barry, as much as I would love to meddle in your relationship… It isn’t my place to tell you,” she looks down at her half eaten chicken tenders. Barry rests his elbows on the table and cups his face in his hands. They’re colder than they usually are. Barry is almost always full of energy, he is usually so warm. Today he isn’t. Barry doesn’t notice when Caitlin pulls out the chair beside him. “It’ll be okay Barry,” she reassures him, her arm around his shoulder. He mumbles a halfhearted thanks and wiggles free of her grip and leaves the cafeteria, not having eaten. On his way out the door, he passes right by Len, who becomes very interested in the ground as soon as he notices Barry.

 

xxx

 

The week they have to wait for Dr. Wells to grade the projects is agonizing for for everyone, but especially for Barry. Not only is he waiting for a grade, the guy he likes _a lot_ hasn’t spoken to him for a week (after a pretty lengthy kiss), and his best friend’s dead mom is, well, _alive_. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

 

On Tuesday, Len showed up to Chemistry, but he sat in his old spot. His spot from before the project, from before his friendship with Barry, from when the two still despised each other. Barry isn’t sure why, but he noticed that Len has been wearing the hood to his favorite blue parka up all week, covering the top half of his face.

 

It’s finally the Sunday before the students get their grades, and Barry has no clue what he is going to do if he and Len get chosen for the Science Fair. He logs into Skype.

 

[GROUP NAME: SCIENCE NERDS]

 

criscoramen

_holy shit guys_

  _grades tomorrow_

_im fucking screaming_

 

thesnowball

_Me too ahhhhhh_

 

speedyscarlet

_Yep_

 

pizzaguy97

_barry!! where the fuck have u been you havent been online all week_

 

thesnowball

_Let him be, Ronnie, I’m sure he has his reasons_

 

pizzaguy97

_caitlin snow, do u know about something that i do not_

 

thesnowball

_...No comment._

 

pizzaguy97

_spill!!_

 

speedyscarlet

_Ronnie._

  _It’s fine._

 

pizzaguy97

_u havent been at lunch since like monday, it’s been a really long time since you’ve gone mia like this_

 

Barry knows exactly when the last time he went ‘MIA like this’ was. It was back when he was a terrified eleven year old boy who had just lost both of his parents. Except that time, he pushed everyone away for _much_ longer than a week.

 

speedyscarlet

_Could we like… not bring that up_

_Please_

 

pizzaguy97

_yeah, of course, sorry dude_

 

speedyscarlet

_It’s fine._

_I’m fine._

 

criscoramen

_dude._

_you are so not fine_

  _barry, please, TALK TO US_

_we are here for you_

_we’re your friends_

 

speedyscarlet

_I know, I just._

_I don’t wanna talk about it._

_Gotta go._

 

Barry shuts his laptop and restrains himself from throwing it across the room before any of his friends have a chance to respond. He buries a scream in his pillow.

 

Fuck Leonard Snart. Fuck his icy blue eyes, fuck his knowing smirk, fuck his arrogance, fuck the way the ghost of his lips have haunted Barry ever since he left that night. Fuck him.

 

It’s getting late. Barry would try to sleep, he knows he should. But he also knows he would be interrupted by nightmares. Nightmares of his father being stolen from him, of his own screams, of his mother with a knife in her chest. He would rather deal with a lack of sleep the next morning than see his mother dying. Again.

 

He accidentally dozes off around 4:30 AM. His alarm clock sounds an hour and a half later. He tells it to shut up with a bang of his fist on the snooze button.

 

xxx

 

He arrives in Dr. Wells’ room and waits for the bell to ring. Across the room, he sees Leonard in his old seat. Dr. Wells begins to hand out the graded rubrics. Barry’s breath hitches in his throat. The minute and a half it takes for Wells to get around the room with the grades is agonizing. Barry is pretty sure he and Len are the last two to get their grades.

 

When he sees the _100%_ in red ink at the top of his slip of paper, Barry isn’t sure if he should be excited or terrified. He settles for both. Dr. Wells made it clear that there would only be three 100’s. He has one of them. He will be attending the Regional Science Fair. With Leonard Snart. He looks over at Len, and Barry is pretty sure he can see a ghost of a smile etched on his lab partner’s face. At least now Len can’t avoid him forever.

 

At lunch, he finds Leonard in the line for food and practically drags him outside of the cafeteria.

 

“What the fuck, Len?” Barry demands.

 

Leonard sighs.

 

“Lose the hood.”

 

“No,” Len’s voice sounds pained.

 

“Why?”

 

“Not here.”

 

“Okay, I’ll come to your house after school and –”

 

“No,” Len interjects, “you can’t go there, not _ever._ Understand?”

 

“Why, Len?” Barry’s tone softening.

 

“Just, trust me, Barry!” Len snaps.

 

“It’s hard for me to trust you when you haven’t spoken to me in a damn week! You know, it hurt at first, a lot, but I’m starting to get pissed, Len.” Barry shot back, anger rising in his throat.

 

“I’ll see you after school, Scarlet, at _your_ house,” Len finished. Barry is almost positive he hears Len mutter an apology before walking back into the cafeteria.

 

xxx

 

After practice, Len walks to Barry’s place, a pool of dread forming in the pit of his stomach. The walk is only fifteen minutes, but it seems much longer. Len isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. The fur of the hood on his parka keeps rubbing against his face. It’s getting rather annoying. He knows he did the kid wrong, he knows he hurt Barry by avoiding him for so long. But Leonard Snart is calculated. Leonard Snart plans everything. Leonard Snart is cold and callus. Leonard Snart is not supposed to fall for cute boys who have big green eyes and a strange obsession with science. Leonard Snart didn’t plan on kissing Barry Allen back. But, as soon as he felt Barry’s lips on his, everything Leonard Snart had worked so hard to become went out the window. And Leonard Snart doesn’t want Barry to know about the abusive drunk he has for a father. Barry doesn’t deserve to know that kind of pain, to see the marks of his father’s so called ‘lessons’ left on his face, the scars left on his body.

 

He rings the doorbell and the door is immediately answered by a very tired (and pretty angry) looking Barry Allen, who wordlessly leads him upstairs.

 

“Take the parka off.”

 

Len lets out a shaky breath and reaches up to lower his hood, revealing a slowly healing black eye and several cuts and scabs.

 

Len can see the anger evaporate from Barry’s eyes.

 

“Fuck,” Barry’s eyes widen in horror, stepping forward to put a hand on Leonard’s shoulder, “shit, Len who did this to you?”

 

“Daddy Dearest,” Len smiles bitterly.

 

Barry is silent for a few moments.

 

“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to have to deal with my pain, Scarlet.”

 

“I know how to handle pain, Len,” Barry’s hand returns to his side as he looks at the floor, “I’ve had plenty of it.”

 

Len let that sink in for a moment, “What do you mean.”

 

Barry’s bitter smile rivals that of Len’s. It's rather off-putting.

 

“You didn’t go to school with me before high school did you? You never realized that I’m the kid who’s dad murdered his mom,” Barry almost laughs.

 

“So that’s why –”

 

“Yeah,” Barry interjects, “that’s why I live with Joe and Iris.”

 

Len is silent for a moment. He knows what it’s like to lose a mother.

 

“I didn’t know.”

 

“Central City is a big place. I’m glad you didn’t. But more importantly, Len what happened?” Barry gestures to Len’s injuries.

 

Leonard sighs, “He’s done worse damage than this before. It isn’t as bad as it looks.”

 

“Isn’t as bad as it looks?” Barry repeats incredulously, “Bullshit. Why didn’t you tell anyone? Why didn’t you tell _me_?”

 

“I couldn’t. Especially not you, Barry. You terrify me. And I don’t scare easily. When I’m with you I… I don’t feel in control. When I’m not around my dad, Barry, I _have_ to be in control,” Len feels his tone becoming desperate and he hates himself for it, “It’s the only way for me to keep my sanity. But, I’m okay now, I’ve only been wearing the damn hood to hide it from you. I… I didn’t want to worry you, Scarlet.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Barry begins.

 

Len doesn’t let him finish. He steps forward and holds Barry’s face in his hands, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, Barry. You didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have left like I did. _I’m_ sorry.”

 

He sighs. Len can feel Barry’s breath on his lips. It doesn’t smell like mint anymore. He briefly presses his lips on Barry’s. Sparks shoot down his spine.

 

“Are you okay?” He asks Barry, pulling away. Barry shakes his head and sits on the edge of his bed. “Talk to me, Scarlet.”

 

Barry takes a deep breath, “A long time ago, before I came to live here, Iris’ mom was a drug addict. She died when Iris was just a kid. Except, last Sunday, Joe told me that she is, in fact, not as dead as I thought. She’s alive. And she wants to have a relationship with Iris.” Len is confused. He thinks for a moment. Isn’t that a good thing? “Does Iris know?” he asks. Barry shakes his head again. “I should be happy, I know that, and I know I’m being selfish but… I always felt like, since Iris and I both lost our moms, we were sort of… connected in a way. Like we understood each other,” Barry looks down at his lap, “I know it’s dumb, but that on top of the project, on top of you leaving – I don’t know, Len, I haven’t been good.”

 

Len sighs. He can feel the guilt as it hits him. Barry doesn’t deserve that kind of heartache. If anyone is selfless, if anyone is pure, if anyone deserves happiness, that person is Barry Allen.

 

“It’s not selfish, Scarlet. And, even if Iris mom _is_ still alive, she will always know what it felt like to lose her, okay? She won’t understand you any less than before.” Barry is silent for a moment, and then he nods. “But,” Len continues, “if you ever need to talk to someone about losing… losing her, I’m here. I get it. My mom is… uh, my mom is out of the picture too.”

  
This isn’t the time to get into the details of his family, and Len hopes Barry understands that. His silence seems to say that he does. Wordlessly, they turn towards each other and lock gazes. Len sees a million emotions floating through Barry’s green eyes, and their lips meet once more, demanding and impatient. Suddenly, Len is okay with not feeling in control.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so idk if i like this chapter but, whatever. i changed the layout of like... how i do the skype chat! (i stole the new layout from this fic, check it out if you're into hamilton!) i'll probably go back & change it in previous chapters as well just for consistency.
> 
> tw: implied reference to child abuse, some underage alcohol consumption
> 
> spoiler alert if you aren't past 2x2

On Valentine’s day, a Friday, at 5:00 PM, Barry and Joe are seated next to each other in Dr. Wells’ classroom for an informational meeting about the Science Fair trip, joined by the rest of the participants and their parents (excluding Len’s dad.) Each student is handed a permission slip which is to be returned by the next Monday, and told the itinerary for the trip. They will leave the morning of March 1st, and return the following night, and they will share a hotel room with their project partner. Barry feels himself blush as Len smirks at him from across the room.

 

After their second kiss, Len has come over much more frequently. Barry’s not exactly sure what he is to Len, or what Len is to him. All he knows is that they make out a lot and it feels nice. After the meeting (which drags on for an hour and a half), Len comes home with Barry (as per usual on Friday nights.)

 

“You excited about the trip, Red?” Len asks, closing Barry’s door behind him. Barry smiles at the fond nickname and nods, “Obviously.” “Excited about sharing a hotel room?” Len asks, smirking suggestively. Barry throws a pillow at him. “No need to be rude, Scarlet,” Len drawls. “You’re an asshole,” Barry smiles fondly, pressing his lips to Len’s. “That may be true, but at least I’m  _ your _ asshole.” Barry feels a blush creeping up his neck, “Fuck you.” Len smiles, and Barry knows he walked right into this one, “If you insist.” Barry throws another pillow at him, which is returned with a laugh (and a grunt on Barry’s part.)

 

The two end up watching Orange Is the New Black on Netflix, curled up, until Len turns to Barry and pauses the show. Barry makes a noise of frustration, as they were just getting to the good part. “You know Scarlet, it is Valentine’s day. We should… get out of the house.” Barry laughs, “You say that like you live here.”  Len rolls his eyes fondly, “In other words, my friend Mick always likes an excuse to throw a party. He’s almost as in love with them as he is with fire,” Len laughs, “ _ but _ he  _ will _ be pissed if I don’t show.” Barry sighs. He knows this is a bad idea, he lives with a detective. He’ll know if they sneak out.  _ But _ , he should be on duty for the rest of the night. Barry lets out an annoyed breath, “I can’t believe I’m agreeing to go to a party being thrown by an arsonist.” Len scoffs through a smile, placing a quick kiss on Barry’s lips, “Mick is a lot of things. A dickhead? Maybe. An arsonist? No.” Barry laughs, “I only wanna be there for a few minutes. And you aren’t allowed to get drunk.” Len sighs, “I don’t  _ drink,  _ Barry, I can promise you that. Fifteen minutes there and we can leave. Just gotta show up, make sure Mick sees me.” 

 

Barry sighs as he climbs on the back of the motorcycle, looping his arms around Len’s waist. The ride to Mick’s is short but exhilarating. Being on the motorcycle reminds Barry of what it feels like to run, except much, much faster. After Len hops off the bike, he places a kiss on Barry’s cheek, “Thanks for coming with me, Scarlet. I’m not big on parties. Too many people. Too much noise.” Barry nods and weaves Len’s finger through his own as they walk up the driveway and turn the doorknob.

 

As soon as Barry is pulled through the doorway into a sea of moving people, the sound of shitty pop music and the smell of beer barrades his senses. Barry can’t wait until he can leave this place. He can tell Len senses his discomfort as his grip on Barry’s hand tightens as he pulls Barry through the crowd.

 

“Hey, Mick!” Len shouts over the music and the roar of drunken voices.

 

“Hey, Snart!” Mick smiles as he saunters towards them. He’s definitely dunk.

 

Barry doesn’t like the guy already.

 

“Who’s your friend?” Mick sloppily nods towards Barry, who smiles uncomfortably.

 

“Barry Allen,” Len replies, still shouting to be heard.

 

“Nice to meet ‘ya, Barry,” Mick holds out his hand, which Barry shakes halfheartedly, “how long have you been here?”

 

“Eh, about two hours,” Len answers, and Barry tries (semi-successfully) to hide his shock at the lie, “We were just leaving.”

 

Barry (very faintly) hears a ring at the doorbell.

 

“Len, that’s gotta be the police. Let’s get outta here,” Barry whispers, suddenly being pulled through the crowd by Len, out the back door, and into the neighboring yard.

 

“I told you this was a bad idea!” Barry whispers aggressively.

 

“Shut up, Scarlet, and come with me,” Len says grabbing his hand once more and dragging him out front.

 

Len didn’t park too close to the driveway, so they got away mostly unnoticed. Except for a certain shadowy figure on standing on the front porch, scarily reminiscent of Joe. Looking right at them.

 

“Go, Len,” Barry says through gritted teeth, hopping on the back of the bike. He is  _ so _ fucked.

 

xxx

 

They’re back under the covers in Barry’s room in under ten minutes. He rests his head on Len’s chest. “Joe saw us. I’m gonna be grounded  _ so hard _ tomorrow morning,” Barry groans. Len runs his fingers through Barry’s chestnut locks, “at least Joe won’t be here for the rest of the night, and  _ I _ will be.” “Okay, you’ll be here tonight, but won’t be allowed to come over for like, at least ten years,” Barry looks up at him. Len presses his mouth to Barry’s, “Might as well make it count.” Barry sighs against his mouth, and Len flips Barry over onto his back. Barry opens his mouth, and Len slides his tongue inside and then pulls away to leave a bruise just below his collarbone. Easy enough to hide. Barry’s breathing sounds like a work of art until his mouth collides once again with Len’s. He smiles into the kiss.

 

xxx

 

The next morning Len rides home by himself, but he is accompanied by a feeling of content in the pit of his stomach. It’s a nice change. Barry Allen is definitely good for him. He parks his motorcycle and enters his house, which is more peaceful than usual since his dad is at work all day today. He walks into Lisa’s room and sits at the foot of her bed.

 

“Lisa, it’s noon. Time to wake up.”

 

She groans, “Go ‘way, Len,” she mumbles sleepily.

 

“I need to talk to you about something.”

 

She slowly sits up, rubbing her eyes, “What’s up?”

 

“Well… in a few weeks I’m going with Barry to the science fair thing. Can you cover for me? That Friday night? I’ll be back on Saturday. We have to get a permission slip signed, so obviously I’m forging his signature on that, I just… don’t want him to ruin this for Barry. For me. I wanted to give you a heads up.

 

Lisa nods, “‘Course, Len,” before turning over and going back to sleep. Len rolls his eyes at his sister, retreating to his room.

 

To Barry: So, how grounded are you?

 

From Barry: So insanely grounded. Two weeks. I’m lucky I get to keep the cellphone. He’s not too mad at you, I told him it was my idea to go.

 

To Barry: And he believed you…?

 

From Barry: Who knows. He’s just trying to teach me a lesson. He knows we weren’t drinking.

 

Len’s stomach churns at Barry’s wording, wording that he is all too familiar with. He shakes it off as he reminds himself that those words don’t have such a negative connotation for everyone else. Just for him. Just for Lisa. Len sighs.

 

To Barry: Whatever you say, Scarlet.

 

xxx

 

Barry walks downstairs for lunch to see Joe and Iris immersed in a seemingly serious discussion. He  can immediately tell what they’re talking about. Both Joe and Iris have tears in their eyes.

 

“Why did you lie to me dad?”

 

“Iris I –”

 

Barry can’t catch the rest of the sentence, as he feels like he is eavesdropping and Joe would definitely be pissed if Barry interrupted their conversation. He makes his way back up the stairs. He closes his door behind and sits atop his bed. He knows he will have to talk with Iris about this later. While he isn’t exactly looking forward to that conversation, he is glad she finally knows. He thinks back to what Len told him and reminds himself that this doesn’t change anything, this won’t change their friendship. 

 

About fifteen minutes later he hears a ginger knock at his door.

 

“Come in,” he tells the noise.

 

Iris opens the door slowly and he gestures for her to sit on his bed.

 

“Are you okay?” He asks knowingly. She lets out a shaky breath, “I’m not sure, Barry. My mom’s alive.”

 

“Joe told me.”

 

Iris sighs, “I don’t know what to do, Barry… she just… she just  _ left _ me, and now she wants back into my life? It’s not  _ fair…  _ but… I have to meet her. I know I have to.”

 

Barry puts an arm over her shoulder, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Iris, not even for your mom. Not for anyone.”

 

“I know but I… I want to meet her. But I don’t want to meet her. I don’t know! I don’t know,” Iris buries her head in her hands.

 

“Hey,” Barry says softly, pulling her closer, “we’ll figure this out together. I’m here for you.”

 

Iris takes a deep breath, “Thank you, Barry. Thank you.”

 

xxx

 

[GROUP NAME: SCIENCE NERDS]

 

criscoramen

_               guyyyyyysssss holy FUCK _

_               IM SO EXCITED _

_               FUCK ME _

speedyscarlet

_               I’d rather not _

criscoramen

_               not literally u dork _

pizzaguy97

_               oh really? _

_               and what would lisa think about this conduct? _

criscoramen

_               literally go fuck urself _

_               also dude why didnt u tell us hartley was your partner omg _

_               i mean i dont blame u for never bringing it up _

_               bc the guy’s  fucking pill but _

_               omg _

pizzaguy97

_               tell me about it smh _

thesnowball

_               Boys, boys, play nicely _

criscoramen

_               smfh i do what i want _

_               ok anyway barry have u and len sent out the wedding invitations yet _

_               bc like. i havent gotten one _

_               im offended. _

speedyscarlet

_               Oh my gosh Cisco _

_               Len and I aren’t even DATING _

_               yet. _

criscoramen

_               yeah but i heard u were holding hands at mick’s party ;)))) _

_               as well as like. everywhere else on the entire planet but _

speedyscarlet

_                Shut up!!!! _

_               Guys can totally hold hands!!!! _

thesnowball

_               Ok Barry I can practically hear you blushing through the screen _

_               You two are so cute honestly _

speedyscarlet

_               Stop!!!! _

_               I’m leaving. _

  
Barry sighs and closes his laptop. His friends never fail to make him as embarrassed as possible. Smiling, he turns his bedside lamp off, and for once, he sleeps without a single nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & kudos always appreciated :DD thanks for all your kind words, as always!!


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